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"People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them". - Leo J. Burke
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"The phrase 'working mother' is redundant." - Jane Sellman
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"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit." -- Bill Cosby
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"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." Joyce Armor
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"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle
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"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." -- Phyllis Diller
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"Laughter is like changing a baby's diaper. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for a while" - Unknown
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"I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." -Gallagher
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"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." - Ed Asner
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"Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories." - John Wilmot
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"It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins." - Chinese Proverb
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"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's in trouble." - Dennis Fakes
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"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." -Bill Vaughan
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"If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma." - Theresa Bloomingdale
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"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." - Franklin P. Jones
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"Families with babies and families without are so sorry for each other." - Ed Howe
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"Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
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"A mother's children are portraits of herself." - Author unknown
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"A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother." - Mark Twain
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"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." - Harry S. Truman
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