Part IV
Ph Goes Shopping

Chapter 10:   No Tape


      On Ph's jaunt home from the doctor's office, he stopped at another store. This store sold lots of things, but it didn't sell everything because it didn't sell tape. It didn't sell tape because tape was just too hard to find. A while ago, many people started to mug other people by rapping them up in clear tape, so the victims could do nothing but wriggle like a wormy worm. After this happened twenty-two times, the United States of America decided to ban all kinds of tape. Even video tape was banned.
      All the stores in the country had to burn all the tape they had, in a huge fire that was in a fire place, and the fire was very hot. This was bad because the fire was so huge that it scared the crap out of a lot of people and this was messy. After that, the U.S. banned all uses of fire too. This was a difficult thing to do because then you had to cook all your food in microwaves, and in the winter you would freeze unless you had electric heat or lived in Africa. Since Africa was the only place that didn't get cold that people could think of, everyone and their mother started to move there. Soon, Africa became very overpopulated, with about 3.6 billion people. Because of this, Africa was kind of crowded, and people started getting crushed. The only people that were happy were the people who sold orange juice, because to squeeze the oranges, all they had to do was throw them into a crowd of people and that did the trick. Since the orange juice business was doing very well, many people started constructing orange juice factories. Then, since all the people started making orange juice, no one could make tape. That is why this store can't sell tape. At least no one gets mugged by being taped anymore.




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Last Updated on January 31st, 1999
©1993-1999 B. Wood Bailey, Jr.