Part IV
Ph Goes Shopping

Chapter 9:   Sudden Trip to the Doctor

      Now that Ph had a ball of paper, he didn't know what to do with it. He looked outside and saw some boys eating corn. This gave him an idea. He was going to use the paper and a garbage can to play basketball. Then he could have people pay to play with him. He got his game all set up, and held up a sign that said Ph's Arcade Center, and then waited for some one to come and play. He waited for 25 hours the first day, but no one came. He waited another year, and still no one came, not even Santa Clause! Then he became so hungry from waiting so long, that he had to eat the paper ball.
      Ph had to go to a doctor because the paper ball that he ate had given him a stomach ache. The doctor couldn't help him because this particular doctor wasn't a medical doctor. Then Ph went to a real medical doctor. The doctor said it was serious, but he only had to drink a glass of water to wash the paper down. Then the doctor gave Ph a bill for the advice. The bill was $79.99. Ph couldn't believe it. He thought it wouldn't cost more than $79.95. When the doctor found out that Ph couldn't pay for it, he said it was O.K. Then the doctor said that Ph could just donate his body to be dissected instead, but Ph said, "Huh, no way."
      The next day, another boy ate a piece of paper and went to the same doctor. The boy didn't pay for the bill either, because he didn't want to. The doctor told him he could donate his body too, and the boy said, "Yes sir!" Then he asked the doctor what he had to do. The doctor told him that all he had to do was take a knife and kill himself. The boy thought that it was easy and so he did it, quick as lightning. He cut a three inch deep slit down his throat and then died with a smile on his face. Then the doctor turned to him and saw what happened. He yelled to the dead boy, "No don't kill yourself, I was only kidding, you silly head!" Then he thought, "Oh well, I lose more patients that way." Then he took the boy's dead body and threw it into the garbage dumpster out back with all of the other people that didn't know he was kidding.
      After this, the doctor decided that maybe he shouldn't tell people to kill themselves because not every body has a great sense of humor like himself. The next day, the doctor did the same thing again, but this time he told the joke to himself. Coincidentally, he had lost his sense of humor the other night because he had a hole in his pocket. Since he had no sense of humor, he thought the joke was serious, and he killed himself.

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Last Updated on January 31st, 1999
©1993-1999 B. Wood Bailey, Jr.