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Everybody Loves Venkat!


Introduction

      I have started this page to honor my favorite professor, and favorite teacher of all time, Dr. ThirumalaiKolundhuPuram Sankaran Venkataraman, or simply as he calls himself, Venkat. I started this page on November 8, 1999 and will try to build it, so that one day it may approach the greatness of the man or his homepage. He brings great joy to my Tuesdays and Thursdays. His class may be hard, but I wouldn't want it any other way!


News

Join the Venkat Fan group on facebook.

April 27, 2005- The Story of Captain Ray. See below.

April 21, 2005- I got some new Venkat quotes. See below.

April 4, 2005- I've now graduated from Drexel, and I can say that Venkat was my favorite professor I've ever had. New Venkat story. See below.

June 1, 2000- It's over. Today, I attended Venkat's lecture for the last time. Tuesday I will take the PFE final and it will be my last experience taking a test written by Venkat.

It has been a pleasure working on this page over the past 7 months, but I think that this will be my last update since I'm done with the class. I'm going to leave this page up for a long time so if you're reading this sometime next fall or thereafter, feel free to e-mail me. I'd be glad to add your Venkat-related experiences to my list.

Finally, I would like to thank Professor Venkat for a great year full of new experiences and for challenging me to learn more about the world in which I live. I think I speak for the majority of the freshman engineers when I say that we really appreciate what you taught us and hope you will continue to give the same gift to incoming freshman for years to come.

Thank you, and good night.

May 15, 2000- I just got my first piece of fan mail. It was from Venkat's daughter Vidya Venkataraman (I think that is her name). Anyway...

hi, this is dr. venkat's daughter....one of my friends told me about
your website so i checked it out...and i just wanted to tell you it's
GREAT! i can't stop laughing...anyway, good work!

V
-Thank you, I try my best.

March 30, 2000- This is a direct quote from Venkat's E-mail:

Remember:  Daylight Savings time. Your clock has to be set an 
hour ahead before you retire on Saturday.

Didn't you enjoy an additional hour of sleep on October 30, 1999 when 
we set our clock an hour behind?

Now it is the payback time and,  there goes an hour of sleep.!!!!!!!!

March 28, 2000- The word of the day is central.

February 6, 2000- The word of the day is also.

February 4, 2000- It was printed in The Triangle that a picture of Venkat and a copy of his book are to be buried in the Drexel Millenium Time Capsule. Click here for the story


Stories

I've gotten two Venkat stories in the past month. Time to start a new category

The Story of Venkat and Captain Ray

By Igor Zabrodin

In Fall 2003, there was an engineering freshman known as Captain Ray. The captain had peculiar manners and dressed in medieval garb. He also had ridiculous speech patterns and many strange habits. Captain Ray always came into class wearing a long cloak, boots, pants, and a shirt that made him resemble Johnny Depp from The Pirates of the Caribbean. His brown hair was straight, reaching down beyond his shoulders. His weapon of choice was his super-duper, treasured laptop, which he often ran out of lecture to recharge. Captain Ray had terrible allergies and sneezed all over everyone in his row, and he often violently shook sleeping neighbors when Venkat said "Vake my friend up over derre!" He was also incredibly interested in everything Physics.

On that particular September morning in PFE I Lecture, Venkat was on a roll with phrases like "Are you with me, YESSSORNO?!!", "ARRAYT?", and "Am I making myself CLEEAR?!!" Everyone in lecture was completely sapped of energy, except for the captain who, by himself, continued to answered Venkat's rhetorical questions in the affirmative for about 10 minutes.

Anticipation mounted, as Venkat was about to reach his climactic finish to the lecture. The "YESSSONO"s began to come at a torrential pace - there was no stopping Venkat! Meanwhile, Captain Ray's replies kept coming at an equally impressive rate. Finally, Venkat exclaimed one final time "AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR, TELL ME YESSSONO?!!!!!!".

Suddenly, Captain Ray jumped up and with all his might, like a captain rallying his sailors, and exclaimed "YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!", pumping his fist into the air. Like an earthquake, his call was deafening; it could have awakened hibernating bears. Since it was totally unexpected, all the other students in the room were completely startled.

Everyone jolted awake and Venkat froze, looking at a standing and befuddled yet completely serious Captain Ray for about 20 seconds. Then all the other students exploded in laughter and disbelief. Finally, Venkat responded in his typical fashion. "My frrriend,. said Venkat, .you are charged like an excited electron, please come back down to grrround state! And drink less coffee!" At that point, Captain Ray realized that he was in the house of Venkat and settled back into his seat.

Venkat completed his lecture, giving everyone their 57 minutes of plugging, chugging, and cranking. As for Captain Ray, he disappeared in the Spring and no one really knows what happened to him. Legend has it that he is stranded somewhere on a desert island with his laptop and wireless internet. Meanwhile, Venkat continues to provide tDEC freshmen with knowledge of physics, laughs, extreme cranking of various "animools", spanking of bowling balls, and, of course, plenty of wonderful problems from The Venkat Book.

THE END

The Cheater

by Eric Enderle

So, I have a story about Venkat that I know I will never forget.

Ah, twas a brisk spring morning. The birds were chirping, construction on the new Commonwealth building was alive and thriving, and all the freshman engineers were taking quiz 3 in PFE III.

In the row in which I was sitting were two other people: my friend E two seats to the left, and my friend Steph four seats down. During the course of the quiz, my friend E gets stuck or unsure, so he naturally finds his way to looking off of both mine and Steph's quizzes.

At one point during the quiz, Venkat walks right up to our row, my face straight into my paper, Steph's face straight into her's, and E's head cranked a solid 45 degrees, also straight into Steph's paper, clearly oblivious to the fact that Venkat had approached (because Venkat came up the aisle on my side, and E was facing the other way).

So E's completely fucked. Basically, this quiz was gonna be a 0 and he had better perform on all the remaining quizzes. But then Venkat, in all his Venkatarific glory, says to E- instead of "Give me your paper. Please leave," which he was perfectly entitled to say- he says, "My friend, what you do right now, is not good for you." E nods, shocked and startled and naturally afraid for his life since Venkat, the most powerful being in the universe (the man who controls billions of very smart electrons) just caught him cheating, and Venkat walks away.

Of course, E's head stayed perfectly straight the rest of the quiz. Just goes to show you, Venkat is the greatest deity this world has ever known, and he always will be.


Quotes

One of my favorite things about Venkat is that he is contently coming up with interesting ways to explain things. These are just a few quotes that I caught while listening to his lecture:

  • If you are not writing, you are bound to sleep.
  • Am I making myself clear?
  • If I want you to know something, I'll say it fifty times.
  • In order to do this problem, you have to have a handle on second grade math.
  • Is Venkat pushing? Is Venkat kicking?
  • Look at the doughnut; do not look through the hole. If you look through the hole, you will not see the doughnut. Look at the doughnut.
  • Do not ask, "What type of doughnut?" Who cares?
  • I make mistakes, but not on Thursday.
  • Numbers are meaningless to me.
  • V for speed, V for distance, V for Venkat.
  • When I'm done, you will say to me, "Venkat, it is a piece of cake, why do you waste our time."
  • Do it tonight. If you don't do it tonight you will do it Monday.
  • The blocks do not jump up and down.
  • Who teaches Newton's Laws the best? Venkat.
  • This relation is simple. Best cake, better cake, good cake.
  • Venkat: Do not combine x and y, because if you do you are in deep...Class: Shit.
  • One of the verst things to happen to the world is the calculator.
  • This is the most useful lecture I have ever given.
  • The next quiz is very easy. If you cannot get 20/20, God save you. Have a good day.
  • Let's do two problems in two seconds.
  • Your life is becoming more complicated beginning today (before we did work/energy).
  • Whomever can tell me this gets two points toward their final grade.
  • If I were to look at it...
  • The next 14 minutes will be nothing but fun.
  • No one teaches rolling as good as Venkat.
  • Banner does not like Venkat.
  • No one rolls like Venkat (not in reference to blunts).
  • Let's get some terms down: in, out, up, down, left, right.
  • Displacement, not distance. You're not in high school anymore.
  • You don't belong here! What is your name? (before he found out the person was a prospective student).
    Welcome to Drexel. (after)
  • My electrons are very smart. They say to me, Venkat...
  • New quotes from DJ Shiner (3/2/01)

  • I know everything.
  • What is Venkat doing? This guy is crazy.
  • Venkat has a beautiful job.
  • Are you guys with me? Yes or no.
  • ...Plug and chug and crank it...
  • No big deal.
  • Him. Wake him up. Your friend.
  • It's 12:00. Let's not sleep.
  • When Venkat was in 8th grade...
  • My mother always told me, since i was a baby...
  • Venkat. (points to himself) I cap. (points right) J cap. (points up)
  • Do you remember the ice cream cone?
  • There are 3 dimensions: time, mass, length, and charge.
  • That damn bowling ball is too lazy.
  • You guys are not the only ones getting the shaft.
  • New quotes from Sarah Fick (4/21/05, 2am)

  • I give you many opportunity to learn, you will love it.
  • Is Venkat right, you say yes.
  • The moment I find you guys I think ‘I should teach something!’.
  • Venkat has some charges... I still have some, no big deal.
  • Proton says ‘I don’t care for you’.
  • Can I attract wood? No, wood is very dumb, but it really likes teflon!
  • You bring negative charges, I hate you.
  • I touch it...oh...I break it.
  • This Venkat doesn’t let you sleep!

Famous test quotes

  • These problems are easy until you make them difficult.
  • In order to do well, you must read the problems. R-E-A-D.

Write the Webmaster with Comments and Additions

Venkatebonics

This page is Venkat approved. "It's so cute!"