LIFE AS ALLAN

                                by

                            TOM HOUSEMAN


                           ALLAN (V.O.)
               I had a dream last night. I don't 
               have that many dreams, so I guess 
               that it was a special occasion. It 
               wasn't much of a dream, though.

     FADE IN

     INT. WHITE ROOM

     ALLAN sits in a white room, completely empty except for a 
     chair. Allan is pale and skinny

                           ALLAN
               I was sitting in a room, an empty 
               room. I was alone. I sat there for a 
               few hours, wondering what was going 
               on. Then I stood up and left.

     Allan stands up and goes over to a white door. He opens it 
     and walks through.

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               I opened the door and walked out. 
               Except the next room was the same as 
               the one I had just left.

     Allan enters the same room he had just been in.

     EXTREME CLOSE ON:

     Allan's worried face, as he sits down.

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               I didn't know what to do, so I sat 
               down. I sat there for a few hours, 
               and then I tried again. And I got 
               the same results. I did this for 
               three days. I didn't speak, eat, or 
               sleep, for three days.

                           SARAH (V.O.)
               I've heard if you don't sleep for 
               three days you're legally insane.

                           ALLAN (V.O.)
               Really?

                           SARAH (V.O.)
               Yeah.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 2


                           ALLAN (V.O.)
               Well I think I was insane. So After 
               three days I finally spoke.

     ANGLE: Looking at Allan from behind.

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               Is there anybody out there?

                           ALLAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
               I don't know if I was actually asking 
               a question, or just quoting that 
               Pink Floyd song.

                           SARAH (V.O.)
               That's a good song.

                           ALLAN (V.O.)
               Yeah, it is. Nobody answered though. 
               So I said:

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               Hello.

                           ALLAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
               And I heard a voice say back to me:

                           VOICE (V.O.)
               Hi.

                           ALLAN (V.O.)
               Now this was very exciting.

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               Who are you?

                           VOICE (V.O.)
               Nobody.

     ANGLE: Allan's front.

                           ALLAN
               What's going on?

                           ALLAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
               And then I woke up.

                                                          CUT TO:

     INT. ALLAN'S BEDROOM- AFTERNOON

     Allan and SARAH sit on the foot of the bed. Sarah is 
     beautiful, with long blonde hair. Allan has an open notebook 
     on his lap.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 3


                           SARAH
               That was your dream?

                           ALLAN
               No. I hadn't been having a dream. I 
               was just talking to myself.

                           SARAH
               You're a complicated person, Allan.

                           ALLAN
               Am I?

                           SARAH
               Yes, you are.

                           ALLAN
               How about you, Sarah? Are you 
               complicated?

                           SARAH
               No. I'm a very simple person. I'm 
               just good at hiding it.

                           ALLAN
               That sounds complicated already.

                           SARAH
               Exactly.

                           ALLAN
               So, why are you here?

                           SARAH
               Don't you want me to be here?

                           ALLAN
               Yeah, I guess so.

                           SARAH
               Well then there you go. So, what 
               does your dream mean?

                           CLOSE UP:
               Allan's face.

                           ALLAN
               Who knows? It might be my subconscious 
               telling me my life is meaningless. I 
               sit down for two hours, then I walk 
               through a door.

                           SARAH
               Why were you talking to yourself?

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 4


                           ALLAN
               Nobody else to talk to, I guess.

                           SARAH
               You don't have anybody else to talk 
               to?

     ANGLE: Allan and Sarah from the front.

                           ALLAN
               Nobody except for you, and you hardly 
               count.

                           SARAH
               Well that makes me feel good.

                           ALLAN
               Sorry, it's just that-

                           SARAH
               I know.
                    (Beat)
               So, you wanna talk, talk.

                           ALLAN
               I don't know what to talk about.

                           SARAH
               Okay. If you could do anything right 
               now, what would you do?

                           ALLAN
               That's an odd question.

                           SARAH
               I'm trying to start a conversation 
               here. Work with me.

                           ALLAN
               Ok. I would be in a bathtub in The 
               White House, taking a bubble bath.

                           SARAH
               Good answer.

                           ALLAN
               Thank you. Now it's my turn to ask 
               you a question.

                           SARAH
               That's kind of pointless, isn't it? 
               You already know all my answers.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 5


                           ALLAN
               Then don't you know all of mine?

                           SARAH
               It doesn't work that way around.

                           ALLAN
               Fine, ask me another question.

                           SARAH
               Okay, here's a good one. What is 
               your number one fantasy?

                           ALLAN
               You mean, like-

                           SARAH
               Eww, no. Just a fantasy you have.

                           ALLAN
               Okay. Let's see. I'm at a party.

                                                          CUT TO:

     INT. PARTY- EVENING

     Allan sits on a couch at a party in a house.

                           ALLAN (V.O.)
               I'm sitting on a couch, wondering 
               why I'm at this party. Then Christina 
               walks over to me.

     ANGLE ON: CHRISTINA, a beautiful brunette, walks over to 
     Allan and sits down. She is crying.

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               She's upset.

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               What's wrong, Christina?

                           CHRISTINA
               It's Jordan. He just doesn't 
               understand me.

                           ALLAN
               What do you mean?

     ANGLE ON: Allan and Christina from the front.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 6


                           CHRISTINA
               All he cares about is making out 
               with me. He doesn't appreciate my 
               personality.

                           ALLAN
               Some guys are jerks. They care about 
               girl's bodies while ignoring their 
               minds.

                           ALLAN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
               I don't understand what's going on. 
               I'm talking coherently to this girl 
               who I'm obsessed with. What's more, 
               I think she likes me.

                           CHRISTINA
               You're such a sweet guy, Allan. I 
               wish all guys were as nice as you.

                           ALLAN (V.O.)
               That's when the problem starts.

     ANGLE ON: JORDAN, tall and muscular, walks over to Allan and 
     Christina.

                           JORDAN
               What are you doing with my girl, 
               geek?

                           ALLAN
               I was just talking to her. I don't 
               think that that's against the law.

                           JORDAN
               Don't talk smart to me, nerd. Now 
               get out of here or I'll beat the 
               crap out of you.

                           CHRISTINA
               Allan and I were just talking.

                           JORDAN
               Yeah, I bet you were.

     ANGLE ON: Christina, looking angry.

                           CHRISTINA
               Allan appreciates my mind, unlike 
               you.

                           JORDAN
               I appreciate your mind, baby.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 7


                           CHRISTINA
               Then how come you never pay attention 
               when I talk to you?

                           JORDAN
               Well you can't expect me to pay 
               attention to you when the football 
               game is on.

     ANGLE: Full scene.

                           CHRISTINA
               I hate you, Jordan. We're through. 
               Allan is my boyfriend now.

                           JORDAN
               What?

     Jordan grabs Allan and pulls him to his feet.

                           JORDAN (CONT'D)
               You'll pay for this, nerd.

                           CHRISTINA
               Don't hurt him, Jordan.

                           ALLAN
               I can handle this, Christina.

     Allan punches Jordan in the face, and Jordan collapses on 
     the ground. Christina Stands up.

                           CHRISTINA
               Allan, you're so brave.

                           CLOSE UP:
               Allan's Face.

                           ALLAN
               Your love gives me courage.

                           CHRISTINA
               Wow, that is so profound.

     They kiss.

     INT. ALLAN'S ROOM

     Allan, finished with his story, looks at Sarah.

                           SARAH
               That's quite a story.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 8


                           ALLAN
               I've had time to think about it. 
               Unfortunately, the DVD version of 
               this fantasy comes with an alternate 
               ending.

                           SARAH
               Do tell.

                                                          CUT TO:

     INT. PARTY

     Allan and Christina are sitting on the couch. Jordan stands 
     near them.

                           CHRISTINA
               Allan appreciates my mind, unlike 
               you.

                           JORDAN
               I appreciate your mind, baby.

                           CHRISTINA
               Really?

                           JORDAN
               Of course.

     Christina stands.

                           CHRISTINA
               Oh, Jordan, I love you.

                           JORDAN
               I love you too, Christina. Let's go 
               make out.

                           CHRISTINA
               Okay. Bye Allan.

     Christina and Jordan walk away.

                           CLOSE UP:
               Allan's face.

                           ALLAN
               Bye.

     INT. ALLAN'S ROOM

     Allan looks at Sarah.

                                                       (CONTINUED)

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                                                             p. 9


                           SARAH
               Ouch. Looks like you're never gonna 
               have a girlfriend.

                           ALLAN
               You're probably right. Unless, maybe 
               you could be my girlfriend?

                           SARAH
               I don't think that that will work, 
               for the obvious reasons.

                           ALLAN
               I guess you're right.

                           CLOSE UP:
               Allan picks up the open notebook.

                           ALLAN
               I guess that I'm just stuck here...

     ANGLE ON: Allan and Sarah from the front.

     Allan closes the notebook and Sarah vanishes.

                           ALLAN (CONT'D)
               Alone.

                               THE END