My father used to put me on his knee and say, Listen stupid!
I said you always call me Listen.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"
A doctor says to a man "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!"
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out!
