Helping Students Cope with the Death of a Parent

Books | Web sites | Organizations | Periodicals | Videos

Books

Nonfiction

How it Feels When a Parent Dies. By Jill Krementz. Knopf, 1988.

Compassion Books
This book combines photographs and personal stories of 18 youth, ages 7-16. The young people openly speak of their feelings, their trials, and even of eventual triumphs following the death by illness and suicide of a parent.

Never the Same: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent. By Donna Shuurman. St. Martin's Press, 2003.

Compassion Books
In this exceptional book, the director of the Dougy Center, an award winning center for grieving young people, offers help for anyone who, as a child or adolescent, experienced the life changing impact of a parent's early death. Shuurman understands the obstacles that adults and children whose parent have died face. She speaks from research as well as first hand knowledge. Since 1982 the center she directs has helped over twelve thousand school age young people. In Never The Same she systematically identifies and explains what can happen across the life span when these losses are pushed aside rather than recognized and faced. Her discussion on resilience and for validating and achieving healthful outcomes are well informed and immensely useful. Highly recommended.

Our Dad Died. By Amy, Allie, and David Dennison. Free Spirit Publishing, 2003.

KLIATT - Amanda MacGregor
What do you do to cope with the death of a parent? For Amy, Allie and David Dennison, you write about it. Twins Amy and Allie, age eight when their father died, and David, then four, show kids how to deal with pain by chronicling their own loss. Excerpts of journals kept right after their father's sudden death reveal the immediate thoughts and feelings of the children. Now, five and a half years after his death, each section of the book includes an analysis of how they handled the situation. The children offer practical advice that goes beyond their initial responses and actions. The book covers the night their dad died, the funeral, the next nearly two years, and the future. The end of the book includes letters to their father and suggestions on how to continue dealing with the pain. Their story is written to children from children in an honest and helpful manner. This book will be an invaluable resource for children and teenagers who are trying to deal with a loss of their own. KLIATT Codes: JS-Recommended for junior and senior high school students. 2003, Free Spirit, 107p. illus., Ages 12 to 18.

At the End of Words: A Daughter's Memoir. By Miriam Stone. Candlewick Press, 2003.

School Library Journal
Gr 6 Up-What happens at the end of words? When you can find no other way to say "good-bye" or "I love you" to a parent? Stone faced those difficult questions as a teenager, and through alternating narration and poetry, she shares her anger, sorrow, confusion, and healing after her mother's death from breast cancer. The emotions in the prose passages express what one would expect a teen to feel upon the impending loss of a parent, while the poems provide a thoughtful counterpoint and add to the pacing of the book. The theme is not new, but the topic will likely speak to readers experiencing this devastating experience or who have a friend going through it. The book comes full circle, with time passing and healing beginning. While these may not be the freshest or most creatively written insights, they are very real. -Sharon Korbeck, Waupaca Area Public Library, WI Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

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Fiction

Coming Home, Heartland Series. By Brooke Lauren. Scholastic, Incorporated, June 2000.

Booklist
This first volume of a projected paperback series introduces a Virginia horse farm run by the Fleming family. Heartland specializes in helping horses with behavior problems. When Mrs. Fleming dies, 15-year-old Amy begins working through her grief by following in her mother's footsteps, helping a pony whose master has died and a show horse nervous around trailers. Meanwhile, practical older sister Lou tries to put the business end of the farm in order. There are hints of budding romance and rivalries with a neighboring farm, as well as family issues that need resolving, which will presumably to be tackled in future books. The writing style is unexceptional; emotions are intense throughout, and there are a lot of characters introduced and many loose ends, all expected in a first book. But horse lovers who have devoured and outgrown such series as Pony pals may like this, especially the idea that someone can work with troubled horses and have a normal teenage life at the same time. -Catherine Andronik

The Girl Death Left Behind. By Lurlene McDaniel. Education Resources, January 1999.

School Library Journal
Gr 6-9-Fourteen-year-old Beth must face adult-sized dilemmas when a car accident claims the lives of her immediate family. Within a few hours, she faces a new family, new house, and a new school. Living with her spoiled cousin only adds to her despair. This story charts the efforts of Beth's caring Aunt Camille and Uncle Jack as they help her through the worst time of her life. Always on the brink of tears, Beth finds the strength of character to make new friends and touch the lives of those around her. Readers familiar with McDaniel's writing will be satisfied with the heart-tugging plot. Those who find tears welling up will be thankful for the periods of built-in respite. The writing, infused with imagery and nuance, lends an air of sophistication to the formulaic story line.-Lisa Denton, J. S. Russell JHS, Lawrenceville, VA

The Truth about Forever. By Sarah Dessen. Penguin Group ( USA) Incorporated, May 2004.

School Library Journal
Gr 7 Up- Macy, 16, witnessed her father's death, but has never figured out how to mourn. Instead, she stays in control-good grades, perfect boyfriend, always neat and tidy-and tries to fake her way to normal. Then she gets a job at Wish Catering. It is run by pregnant, forgetful Delia and staffed by her nephews, Bert and Wes, and her neighbors Kristy and Monica. "Wish" was named for Delia's late sister, the boys' mother. Working and eventually hanging out with her new friends, Macy sees what it's like to live an unprescripted lifestyle, from dealing with kitchen fires to sneaking out at night, and slowly realizes it's not so bad to be human. Wes and Macy play an ongoing game of Truth and share everything from gross-outs to what it feels like to watch someone you love die. They fall in love by talking, and the author sculpts them to full dimension this way. All of Dessen's characters, from Macy, who narrates to the bone, to Kristy, whose every word has life and attitude, to Monica, who says almost nothing but oozes nuance, are fully and beautifully drawn. Their dialogue is natural and believable, and their care for one another is palpable. The prose is fueled with humor-the descriptions of Macy's dad's home-shopping addiction are priceless, as is the goofy bedlam of catering gigs gone bad-and as many good comedians do, Dessen uses it to throw light onto darker subjects. Grief, fear, and love set the novel's pace, and Macy's crescendo from time-bomb perfection to fallible, emotional humanity is, for the right readers, as gripping as any action adventure.-Johanna Lewis, New York Public Library Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.

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Web sites

Recovery from Bereavement and Loss of a Parent
http://www.alexandrakennedy.com/
Alexandra Kennedy MA is a psychotherapist in private practice and author of Losing a Parent (HarperCollins, 1991) and The Infinite Thread: Healing Relationships Beyond Loss (Beyond Words, April 2001). She lectures at universities, professional organizations and major conferences. She offers a unique perspective to grieving through her work with the imagination, weaving together inspiring case histories, practical advice, and experiential exercises.

A Time to Grieve
http://www.atimetogrieve.net/
A Time to Grieve explores the experience of grief after the loss of a parent and offers support, simple suggestions, and a place for sharing memories. Grieving visitors can also submit poems to the poetry page or post on the message board.

GriefNet
http://www.griefnet.org/
GriefNet.org is an Internet community of persons dealing with grief, death, and major loss. Led by Dr. Cendra Lynn, a clinical psychologist who has worked with grief and growth support groups for over 30 years. She is a death educator and counselor, a certified traumatologist and lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She has specialized in grief and loss and teaches and trains grief professionals internationally. Each group is monitored and personal or interpersonal problems are forwarded to Dr. Lynn for her assistance.

Beyond Indigo
http://www.beyondindigo.com/
This web site provides grief support. Beyond Indigo is listed in Forbes Best of the Web for grief support message boards! Beyond Indigo, is a great source of information on grief, grieving, death and dying. Beyond Indigo offers detailed and heartfelt support and well-managed information. It facilitates chat rooms and discussions on various topics. One of Beyond Indigo's strongest characteristics is the broad scope of content it provides. In conjunction with information, polls, and grief tools, Beyond Indigo offers advice columns and articles related to grief, grieving, death and dying. A sought after feature of the site offers personalized grief support. Each day for a year a person can receive personalized grief support sent directly to his/her e-mail account.

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Organizations

Mommy's Light
P.O. Box 494 , Lionville, PA 19353
Phone: (610) 725-9790
http://www.mommyslight.org
Mommy’s Light is available to Delaware Valley children whose mothers are deceased or in a life-threatening situation.

See the organizations page for more bereavement services.

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Periodicals, Articles and Pamphlets

Schlozman, Steven C. The Pain of Losing a Parent. Educational Leadership. May, 2003. 60(8): 91-92.

Deals with the role of teachers in the emotional and academic performance of students who experience the death of a parent.

McEntire, Nancy. Children and Grief. ERIC Digest. June, 2003. 1-3.

Noting that the death of a loved one brings grief to children as well as adults, this Digest draws on research to examine how children respond to death and the role of parents and teachers in helping children cope with loss.

Spruce, Marcella. When a Student Grieves. Teacher Magazine, February, 1991 2(5): 30-32.

Teachers can help children cope with the loss of a parent or friend in two ways. Discussion about death can be integrated into the curriculum on an ongoing basis. Teachers can help students with the tasks of mourning: understanding, grieving, commemorating, and going on with life.

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Videos

When Someone Dies: Understanding Grief. Timely Television. 2003; rel. 2004. 25min.

Timely Televison
Gr. 9-12. This compelling documentary uses family photos, video footage, and gentle instrumental music to back up information about death and grief. through interviews with articulate teens, viewers gain insight into the emotions involved during the grieving process. The stories are unique, but the coping mechanisms are similar, and grief is expressed in different ways depending on the individual. Because of the teen interviews, this supportive program seems especially targeted to adolescents facing emotional trauma and grief. --Carol Holzberg

Facing Death, Facing Grief: Teens Healing at Camp Brave Heart. Aquarius Health Care Videos, 2002. 22min.

School Library Journal
Gr. 6-12. Acknowledging that grieving is "hard work," nine teenagers candidly share ways to work through grief and rejoin life in this comforting program. Videotaped at a grief camp in Texas, the production finds teens describing feelings of depression, anger, and regret; loss of sleep and appetite; and the pain of guilt. Each interviewed person urges viewers to talk to someone they trust, express emotions in nondestructive ways, and have faith that "it will get easier." Knowing firsthand the awkwardness of returning to school following the death of a loved one and the difficulty of facing special holidays and celebrations, the kids offer empathetic advice. Powerful in its frankness and honesty, this moving production offers a hopeful message.

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