A couple years ago I came to the realization that I'm not one of the cool people. I know it's a strong statement to make but my psychologist said I have to be truthful with myself no matter how bad it hurts. This thought dawned on my when I was standing in the Five Spot last Tuesday.

So there I was. Standing in this hot ass room. Suffocating from the heavy smoke and bobbing my head to the JazzyfatNasties. This was my first time there and loved the cool vibe everyone was giving off. My friend told me about this spot and I've been kind of hesitant on visiting because I heard it was strictly over 21. But being the brave soul I am, I ventured out to see if I would get played at the door.

I walked to the doorman, gave him my five dollars and followed the drum solo up the steps without incident. As I stood against the wall I surveyed the audience. Just to check out the screen. The thing that struck me a little odd is how cool everyone looked. I mean, these people were hip, trendy and all around chic.

A lot of them had the natural look. Some of them had the trendy intellect look. Others had the laid back vibe. I was in total awe. What is this place? Is this the secret hang out for cool people that I've stumbled across? And if it was, why didn't anyone kick me out yet?

Not saying I'm a total loser, but these cool ass trendy people made me self-conscience. I just don't know how to explain it. It's like when you were in high school and there was always a crowd of people who seemed so interesting and cool that your longed to hang out with them. Now I wasn't longing to hang out with anyone, I can chill and have a good time on my own. It was just so strange how everyone was vibing. I guess I'm not use to parties where no body is fighting, shooting or looking each other up and down.

That night I must say I really enjoyed myself. It was refreshing seeing like minded people having a good time listening to a parade of singers, poets and musicians. As I drove home around 2:30 in the morning, I couldn't help thinking about the day I can legally get into more places like that. I don't mind being under 21, but it sure is inconvenient sometimes.